The Importance of Dad-Baby Bonding

Dads are more hands-on today than in previous generations. Still, it is not uncommon for men to feel out of their element. A quick Google search of "baby bonding with dad" returns millions of hits. One of the most common themes you see on r/daddit and r/NewDads subreddits deals with how dads can bond with their baby.

Benefits of dad/baby bonding:

An increasing number of studies have shown that dads bonding with their baby has a number of benefits for both the baby and the father. Including:

• Increases mental/physical development for your child

• Helps your child combat depression later in life

• Helps your child with academic success and interpersonal relationships

• Reduces your child's likelihood to engage in drug or alcohol abuse and criminal activity

• Encourages your child to be more independent

• Helps your child develop emotional regulation skills and resist urges to act impulsively

What are some ways that dads can bond with baby?

Wear baby

There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that close contact between dad and baby produces oxytocin (a neuropeptide that plays an important role in the formation of attachment bonds). A great way to do this is by dad wearing the baby in a baby carrier, sling, or wrap.

Wearing baby is also a way for dad to carve out a role and feel more needed in the early days of the fourth trimester where baby is more dependent upon mom. It also allows you to be able to get household chores done while taking care of baby.

Narrate your tasks to baby

Narrating your day to baby not only allows you to bond with baby but also helps them to develop language skills. At first it may seem a bit odd to talk to someone who is incapable of talking back or understanding what you are saying, but eventually you will grow more comfortable with it. Some things you can narrate to baby include: diaper changes, feedings, and games you are playing with them.

Skin to skin (kangaroo care)

Although kangaroo care has numerous benefits for mom and baby, including helping breastfeeding mothers increase their milk supply, it is also beneficial for dad as well.

As NICU parents, we became very accustomed to skin to skin time with baby in the hospital. Skin to skin contact has been shown to have tremendous benefits for pre-term babies and babies with low birth weight including stabilizing heart rate, encouraging weight gain, and relieving pain. Kangaroo care also allows you to bond with baby and help establish a secure attachment.

Read to baby

Reading to your baby seems like another one of those things that are counterintuitive, but it is not. Research shows that reading to baby from very early on is beneficial. Much like narrating your day to baby, reading to baby helps develop language skills. It also helps to build baby's vivid imagination. What you read in the early days isn't as important as simply reading to them. In fact, during our NICU stay we began to ready the Chronicles of Narnia to our little one.

Play with baby

Dads and play go together like a fart and a quiet room. Dads are particularly drawn to what is commonly known as 'rough-and-tumble' play. While rough-and-tumble play is very limited with newborns and infants, there is still no shortage of things you can do with baby. You can play by airplaning baby, bouncing baby on your knee, or tickling baby (we call it 'gitcha gitchas').

Change diapers

Changing diapers is a great way to take some of the weight off of mom's shoulders and can be done from the earliest of days. Diaper changes also gives you an opportunity to put into practice narrating to your baby. While changing baby, talk baby through each step of what you are doing with them. Its also a great opportunity to make a mundane task fun. In our home we have the 'diaper dance.'

Involve baby in household chores

This one is a great way to both wear your baby and narrate to baby with the added benefit of greatly helping mom out while she is recovering. Just because you have a baby doesn't mean that chores around the house stop. With mom being out of commission after giving birth, more chores fall on to dad's shoulders. This is a great opportunity to get baby involved.

Say "I love you"

This one seems obvious but in case it isn't, look your baby in the eyes and say "I love you." Do this early and often. Do this as long as you have breath in your lungs. There is not much to say here other than to repeatedly tell your baby "I love you."