How I Became Your Father, Part 5

Sleeping in a hospital is darn near impossible, although going without sleep for around 36 hours does make it a bit easier. Fortunately the room mom was in had a little bench/bed in the corner where I could sleep so I didn’t have to leave her overnight.

Over course with it being a hospital, the nurses come through every couple of hours to make sure everything is looking okay. They try to be as quiet as possible, but you do wake

up every time they come in.

That first night in the hospital was a lot to take in. So much had happened over the course of the past day and a half and the was so much uncertainty regarding the future. We knew we would be having you early, but when? We knew it would be a while before we could go home, but how long? Were you going to be okay? Was mommy going to be okay? How were we ever going to get through this?

Early the next morning the nurse came in and hooked mom up to a fetal monitor to see how you were doing. Once again, the monitor was not showing the variations in your heart rate. Looking back on this time now, I am not sure I really even grasped what this all really meant. I was more calm than you would expect your anxious dad to be. That calm would be short-lived.

We knew that we would be spending some amount of time in the hospital, so that morning nan and gammy were running some errands for mommy that were going to make her stay a little bit easier. The importance of this detail will be evident in just a bit.

Your mom and I have racked our brains a good deal about when she ate some breakfast that morning — whether it was before or after the nurse hooked her up to the fetal heart monitor. The importance of this detail will also come into focus a bit more very soon.

We had some nuts that we got from somewhere but cannot for the life of us remember where. Where they came from is not important, but it is important that mommy ate some for breakfast.

Not too long after mom was hooked up to the fetal heart monitor, the maternal-fetal medicine doctor and a nurse came in with an ultrasound machine. The doctor was quite nice and we all chatted for a moment as she began to do the scan.

It took no time for the mood to change.

Within moments of the ultrasound starting, the doctor’s demeanor completely changed. It felt as if the air had been let out of the room.

We received an onslaught of new information that morning. We found out that there was essentially no amniotic fluid, that you were receiving very little blood from the umbilical cord, and that your were growth restricted. She was estimating that you were a bit under three pounds.

Then came the words that you mom and I will never forget. “This baby has to come out today.”

I am not sure I can describe the feeling that overcame me in that moment. I was terrified. I completely broke down as the emotions of the past couple days seemed to finally catch up to me.

We were given the options to have a c-section or to be induced and have you naturally. They told us that if we tried to go the natural route, we may end up having an emergency c-section anyways.

We decided to go ahead with the c-section.

The doctor and nurse left us. Mom and I took a few moments to cry together before gathering ourselves. The room was still and silent and we just held onto each other and cried. There was a lot to do and not a lot of time in which to do it. As I have mentioned, we were alone. Nan and gammy were out running errands and grandad was three hours away with PawPaw B. If you remember, his wife Lola had just passed away and grandad was taking him to meet with her family at the funeral home to make arrangements.

We immediately began calling everyone to tell them to drop everything and get back to the hospital. We were getting ready to have a baby.

Now, I must admit, the next couple hours are a bit blurry for me. There were numerous doctors in and out of the room for the next little while prepping us for what was about to happen.

There was one moment in which we thought that things may end up getting delayed. You remember how I mentioned earlier that mommy had eaten some nuts for breakfast? Well, the anesthesiologist was concerned. They prefer you to have a completely empty stomach to prevent the patient from aspirating what they’ve eaten, but ultimately he decided the risk of putting off the birth was greater than the risk from having eaten.

It was not long before the team of doctors and nurses where ready for us. They took mommy first to prep her and left me behind in the room. By that time nan and gammy had arrived. I was thankful I wasn’t alone.

It only took around 30 minutes or so before they were ready for me to come to the operating room, but it felt like an eternity. In that 30 minutes, I probably paced a couple miles back and forth in the room.

Finally, the time had come. The nurse came and got me to let me know that they were ready.

Getting ready to enter the operating room

When I walked in and saw your mother on the table, it was a lot to take in. So many different emotions overcame me. I was terrified. But I was also excited to see my new baby, and so proud of your mother.

I sat down in the chair next to her head and we prepared ourselves for your entrance into the world.

They started cutting mom open. It seemed like it took an eternity to get you out, but we also can’t remember anything from that time. All we remember, after a long period of anxious waiting, is the doctor’s announcing “he’s coming” and then a small, but mighty, baby cry.

They whisked you away to the back, but we got a chance to see you with your mouth open wider than we’ve ever seen it before, taking your first breaths and crying out for your parents. Mom, still cut open on the operating table, had to be sewn back up. I wish she could have come back with me when they invited me back to see you.

Getting to meet you for the first time is something I will never forget. You were so incredibly tiny and so incredibly perfect. You even came out slightly bigger than they estimated — 3 pounds and 1 ounce to be exact.

Baby's first moments in the world

My time with you wouldn’t last very long. Once you were stabilized, they whisked you off to the NICU and it would be several hours before we got to see you again. But you were here. And you were doing well. We still had a lot of fear, a lot of unanswered questions, but we could rest a bit easier knowing you were in a much safer situation.

As this journey came to and end, we would begin our next journey as NICU parents. But that is a story for a different day.