Finding the Creator in the Cradle

Photo by Liane Metzler on Unsplash

As of writing this, I have been a dad for a whopping 143 days. My perspectives have shifted greatly in this short period of time. Things that I thought were important seem less important. I also am seeing myself and my wife through different lenses. After all, we are radically different people than we were before our son was born (perhaps I will expound on that in a different article). But perhaps the one perspective that has undergone the largest shift, is how I view God.

As I am growing more each day into my role as a father, I am learning more and more of what being a father really entails. And the more I am learning of fatherhood, the more I am learning of God’s role as Father.

Something you should know about me is that I am a mess. I am stubborn and hard-headed. I have learned in my short time on this earth that there is very little I can truly do for myself. I am prone to messiness. I think I know what is good for me, but when it comes down to it, I don’t. Spiritually speaking, I cannot do anything for myself.

Messy. Stubborn. Can’t do anything for yourself and don’t know what is best for you. This also describes my four month old son.

A profound moment happened early on in my relationship with him. I changed his dirty diaper and got him all good and cleaned up then I put him on my lap to feed him. Not long into his meal he got that look on his face. Now parents and those who have been around children will know what I mean by that look. The scrunched up nose. The deep concentration in the eyes. Followed by some of the most concerning sounds you will ever hear coming out of a human being and then the most toxic smell in the world.

No more than five minutes after changing his diaper did my son decide that he needed to poop. Again. And its not like that has happened once. And I am sure that it will happen again. And again. And every time I am going to pick him up, lay him on the changing table, do the diaper dance, and change his diaper. I don’t get mad. I don’t yell and scream. He is a baby. Babies poop.

As I mentioned, my baby is just over four months old. He was born several weeks premature which makes his corrected age around two months. Something that I have observed about him is that he doesn’t quite get what is good for him. A perfect example is when he is avoiding nap time and he gets himself over-tired. As dad, I know that the best thing for him is to just relax, close his eyes, and drift off to sleep. As a baby, he thinks the best thing for him is to scream at the top of his lungs like a possessed bobcat.

This will come as a surprise to no one, but babies cannot do anything for themselves. His mother and I have to feed him, change him, bathe him, carry him everywhere. Basically anything he needs done, we do for him.

In the love and care that I have for my son, I see a reflection (a poor reflection, but a reflection nonetheless) of the Father’s love and care for His children. Please do not misread this. I am not putting myself on the same level with God. He loves with a perfect love. I do not.

Here is my point: just as I look at my little boy covered in his own mess and feel nothing but love and affection for him, God looks down and His children in their mess and feels nothing but love and affection for them. Just as having to do everything for my son is no inconvenience, God our Father is not inconvenienced by me. Just as I am patient with my son when he stubbornly cries instead of sleeping, God the Father continues to be patient with me.