At the time of writing, I have been a dad for just a bit over six months. And what a crazy and wonderful six months it has been. I have already written about my son’s birth story (in five parts) — if you haven’t already, you should check it out. Its a wild ride.

Over the course of the last six months, I have learned a lot. To be honest, it is a good deal more than just six things — six things in six months is more catchy than twenty-five, forty, etc. things in six months.

These six things are some of the biggest lessons that have stuck out to me. So here we go. In no particular order.

The stuff that comes out of your baby isn’t all that gross.

I have always been a pretty squeamish person. This goes all the way back to when I was a baby.

I was always worried about how well I would be able to handle all the grossness that comes from babies — the diapers, the vomits, the snot. People would always tell me when its your kid, its different.

I never believed them.

My first challenge came very early on. As anyone who has had a baby knows that first diaper change is no joke. Meconium is different to say the least. If you know you know.

Shout out to the nurse on duty that night. I couldn’t have cleaned up that mess without her.

The big takeaway from that first diaper change was that I did it and did not get sick. I didn’t even gag. I was quite impressed with myself.

Since then I have changed countless poopy diapers. Numerous times I have gotten the poop on me. I have picked boogers out of his nose so many times. I have been thrown up on more times than I can count. And never once has it made me ill.

I have found that everyone was right, it is not nearly as gross when it is coming out of your baby.

Having a schedule is great, being flexible is greater

When we were in the NICU, we were on a very strict schedule. Every three hours, we fed and changed diapers. Three times a week we bathed.

The schedule was strangely comforting.

I am the type of person that functions best on a schedule. I am less likely to forget things and more likely to operate at a higher level.

So when we brought baby home, we tried our best to stick to this same schedule. And it worked for a while.

As baby grew and his needs changed, so did his schedule. And while we continue to try to operate on a schedule, there are times when the baby has different ideas. There are times when he sleeps when he should be eating. There are times when he plays when he should be sleeping.

Learning to not get hung up on sticking to the schedule is very freeing.

Prioritize your rest and mental health as much as possible

Being a parent is exhausting — physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually exhausting. Sleepless nights, the constant attention your baby needs, the feeding and diaper changes at all hours of the night adds up quickly.

And if you have had a traumatic birth experience on top of this, everything can be compounded. All new parents are stressed and anxious but for those parents whose little ones have spent time in the NICU, or have faced some other type of difficulties, the stress is multiplied a hundred fold.

As difficult as it is you must prioritize taking care of yourself. Its so easy to exhaust yourself or burn out. If you burn out then you aren’t going to be able to be there for your baby.

Sleep is difficult in those first weeks and months but it is vital. Prioritize it. When baby is sleeping, you sleep. You can do those household chores later. Its easy to do, but don’t forget to eat. You need your strength to take care of little one. Hydration is of extreme importance so drink water.

Therapy has been a game changer for me. Even before having a baby and before experiencing a traumatic birth, therapy was vitally important. After everything that has happened in the past 6 months, therapy has become essential.

I plan to write more in depth regarding postpartum mental health from the dad’s perspective, so stay tuned for that.

Time passes far too quickly

Okay so this is as cliche as it comes. I know, but hear me out.

I am not sure I understand the phenomenon, but time moves at different speeds depending on your situation. Time seemed to barely move at all when I was a kid. As I have grown into adulthood time has sped up significantly. Transitioning into parenthood has only increased the sped of time even more. If someone understands why this is happening, please be so kind as to leave a comment.

Something I have found myself guilty of in the past six months is thinking, “Oh I can’t wait for…” or “I am so excited for baby to…” instead of living in the moment and enjoying the phase that he is in now.

I blinked and he went from being the tiniest thing that I could easily lift in one arm to being a little chunkster that makes my back scream for mercy after a few minutes of holding him.

I understand that I am going to blink a few more times and he will be walking and going to school and driving and going off to college.

Slowing down, living in the moment, taking pictures and videos, cherishing each stage your little one is in is hard but is a must.

Your baby is a gift from God to be stewarded

It is so easy to get wrapped up in the thinking that the little baby in my arms is my baby. After all, his mother and I created him. We sat by his side every day for four weeks in the NICU. We feed him, we bathe him, we change him. He is ours.

But ultimately, he is not. He was given to us by God. He is a gift for us to steward (Psalm 127:3).

Is there a more daunting responsibility that you have ever faced than this? I doubt it.

We are tasked with not only the physical care of our little one, but also their spiritual care. We seek not only to make sure they grow big and strong but also that they grow to know the God who created them and gave them life.

This is a gift not to be taken lightly, but there is no better gift that one can receive.

Take time for your spouse/partner

A baby obviously changes the dynamic of a relationship. Along with baby comes a ton of new responsibilities that takes away much of the time you would spend with your partner.

Gone are the spontaneous date nights. Gone are the uninterrupted moments of pillow talk. We spent the first couple months at home not even sleeping in the bed together.

Its tough with all that is going on in those first few months, but you have to figure out ways to continuing cultivating your relationship.

Its been difficult to find time to ourselves in these first six months. We are fortunate enough to have my mother-in-law nearby who babysat for us so we could go on a date for our anniversary. And she is certainly willing to do it again.

Even without date nights, we make it a point to continue having conversations and checkin in with each other. We try to take the time to understand each other’s needs and how we can best serve each other.